You hurt me

=)

Monday, January 29, 2007

school woke up to 4 missed calls and a msg.
baby tried to wake me up. HAHA sorry sayang i plug in earpiece bih tak kluar lagu.
=)

went to school and all. secret roncher was being a jerk.

"mr ...... can i please go to the toilet? i reaaaallly need the toilet" - me
"NO! *slams a pile of books onto table* ALL OF U ALWAYS USE MY PERIOD TO GO TO THE TOILET!! THIS IS A CLASSROOM NOT A MARKET PLACE!!!"

* he turns to Jia He and went,*

"ya what? toilet? here take the pass."

i went "fuck you lah..."

HAHA.

school ended,stayed back to do bahas awhile, then stayed behind while the grls went off. did my homework with help from Iylia and Nash and then Jogina explained to me about POA. thank you lah korang! then finished up my maths, and waited for harith and rahmat to end their match.
done, took bus to the hardcourt then waited for his younger brother to end school. the guys played soccer while waiting. thn dah, went home. Rahmat sent me home in a bad mood, HAHA. then iylia and harith n his bro went home.

CHAK!

f&n made me lose a friend.

i'm done.

i hate this blogskin.

withlove,

Withlove,

8:19 PM

=)

Withlove,

8:19 AM

woaah

Sunday, January 28, 2007

just JUST JUST moved to the new blogger. like fcuk only.

psl kan.. my screen everything is in CHINESE. and i can't change the setting. bcoz the settings is ALREADY in english.

so had to like go thru everything from another website and memorise the characters. HAHA i can pass chinese ah ginik.

and thanks to kakak also. i noticed, she noes my blog but refuse to go to my blog without my knowing. so HAHA i love kakak.

went to GEYLANG (inside joke btween me n b) and "shopped" skjap. bought groceries. soo went to Nek Dok's after. Hazim was there (!!) surprisingly. thn i realised, smlm was Hakim's bdae so he stayed over and all for school purposes. mcm Adk dulu. bih bih bih. i forgot.

ah yeah sent adik off to Hostel,begged mia for OCK with a flat "no." and then head home. i'm pretty sleepy. my hair is the same as yesterday's and nek went "Wah dah lamer tak nampak cucu-cucu aku, jadi lawa" when i went to salam her. naturally i took it as a compliment for me ONLY. ha.ha.

but it was a jibe as well for my parents. we didn't go for over a month i think. and nek's pretty upset. haha.

done. i have yet to do maths and HERE i am, planning my own layout already. new blogger is weird.

Labels: NEW BLOGGER

Withlove,

10:05 PM

new

plain blogskin again.
don't ask me why, i can't be bothered anymore.

so Parents Night.

pleasantly well due to my friends and MR JEREMY SEE! =)

haha. HE puji-ed me.

"u bribe your tcher puji you kan? impossible you can do so well."

and i thought i would have the support from ym parents.
goes to show, we thought wrong.
WRONG.

TODAY;

mendaki. nina late 30 mins siak. siak siak! hahahah. k thn met up w b to go nyp. i rushed thru siaping but still had to make b wait for 45 mins. hahahahaha sorry sayang. mwah.
so then walked around NYP.

no comments. *points at b who is a student of nyp*

so u see why now?? =)

walked around Sun Plaza while waiting for the movie to start. started. WHITE LADY.
i'm a wimp, baby had to hug me most of the time to stop me from screaming. wahahha and i slapped his palm over my mouth as an extra precaution.

I AM A WIMP!

i m not afraid of admitting it, psl.... i dunno the meaning of shame?? hahaha.
(fasha, you agree, i shall slap you)

end.

i'm tired.

maybe soon i'll make a nicer blogskin. ORANGE n SHAB doesn't go together. with SHABRINA maybe can lah but not SHAB.

i have an alter-ego. let me assure you.

Izan, updated. as usual, with love.
Chiqa, HELLO. hahah it's been some time since we've went out AND chat. tegur me kays?

withlove,

Withlove,

12:24 AM

16

Sunday, January 21, 2007

Happy Birthday Nurizan bte Osman!
dah 16 dah tua tapi dun worry ku catch up soon~

hahahah sayang kau.

=)

ANYBODY HAS THE CD NANNY MCPHEE??
AND HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL?
AND LOVE-WRECKED!!
AND THE BREAKUP!!
AND AND AND!

dah.

k wishlist lah eh, saper saper baik hati, get for me. i'll love you to pieces.
BABY, TAKE NOTE EH!!!! (joking, really)

Nanny McPhee
High School Musical
Love-Wrecked
The Breakup
My Super Ex-Girlfriend
Devil Wears Prada
My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult.
Any books by Jodi Picoult but not salem falls and vanishing acts pasal i already have.
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Workable Digicamera
Magic Pen for my O Levels
A Clean Room
Friends who don't actually take my stuff without permission
Day with Baby
Admission to TP after results
NEW BLOG SKIN
to go to MPH
time with Kak and Dik respectively.
to watch Rith skate for once. HAH!
EAT SUSHI I'M HUNGRY FOR SUSHI! SUSHI SUSHI ROAAAR!!!

and i think that's all?

ouh yah more shirts. hahaha. =)

padehal bdae izan, aku yang bnyk mintak2.

=)

with<3<3,

Withlove,

3:59 PM

WHEEEEE~

so friday :

went to ngee an poly open house.
reached walked around the CCA Hub punyer bender. pretty boring lah actually. then went out.
while going out, Daphne sang. so i stayed and watched with the rest. skalik the emcee ckp Taufik Batisah plak kluar. apalagi? the grls kanchong ah.
somehow or other, me and nina dpt selit to the front while yg paling kecoh, yana n fasha, terstuck kat blakang. b was at the back too psl he not that interested. hah. so i snapped pics using my phone for yana psl nina nyer cam not w her n yana's cam was nt really clear. so dah, NINA NANGIS SIAK!! then i showed the pictures to yana and she went "shab you got the power to make me pengsan you know?"

i laughed.
oh the silly antics of my grls!

so walked arnd. and i realised, the school lawa but kan... the courses not appealing.. so we didn't really spend much time in there. got out pretty quickly.. and oh, before we left, Taufik let slip that he was going to perform next at nanyang poly. hahahahahah.

OVERALL:

so i went to practically all the open houses of all the polys. except for Nanyang Poly ah. Nanyang nxt week. so....

singapore poly:

interesting and all but the school somehow looks dilapidated siak.. according to sha "mcm mortuary". the open house nyer area mcm.. cramped lagipon. so we didn't see much and not many of us were really that interested with a lousy tour-guide, so OUT!

Republic Poly :

school was very pretty but it's quite empty. and not that many people were there. the poly is still quite new and not really that established yet..sooo... hntah lah... the courses tak banyak yang betol-betol menarik perhatian. and and and it doesn't really seem to be hip and happening.
so..OUT!

Ngee Ann Poly :

another poly that made me go "wah lawa".. the bad thing abt it according to B was that ADER HILL. padehal his school pun ader! hahahahha. so yeah the place seems big but also mcm empty.. tak bnyk tempat yang made me go "woah!" or anything. the poeple seem friendly and enthusiastic. courses, not appealing. but the facilities quite good. i mean all the schools boast "state of the art" facilites ker aper but hntah. so far yang very good is Ngee Ann Poly nyer..

TEMASEK POLY:

my ultimate favourite. before the open house, i was already aiming to go there. it has this one particular course which i want to go to ah. so reached. dari jauh the school looks sooooo lively!! went in to a very loud and robust school! hahaha! the school of engineering students were screaming and shouting cheers and bombing each other and all. very fun! hahahaha. so headed around to the design school. !!OMG!! very nice! i'm not that interested in all this design coz personally, i'm not creative at all. so this is the one school which made me go woah... FOR DESIGN!

we walked around and it was pretty amazing. we saw the modelling show for awhile before heading to see the other part. Nina fell instantly in love with the school. headed to the school of business. AMAZING! me and nina were dragging our feet psl we were sooo awed by it. hahaha so we went to look at the nextfloor. omg omg omg omg lawa giler!!!! so saw the course i was aiming for. the people there look sooo intimidating. hahaha aku takot.
then went to the course fasha seems interested in. she wanted to ask qs, so this person came. hntah knaper, sha tiber2 pusing and went "tak tak aku tak nak tanyer". merapek siak. so nina asked. and we found out quite alot. =)

then out to see the other parts of the school. omg soooo happening siak the school! I WANT TO B A PART OF IT LAH!!! me and nina mati2 tak nak kluar the school but we ended up going out due to sha n zan's insistence. hahahaha. tak guner lah sha. kater jek interested,last2 mcm endah tak endah.

tampines mall next, walk2, ate at BK. zan's mulut mintak kener sekel. hahahha. then headed off to cwp. i slept in the mrt. hahhah. cwp temaned nina go buy nasi ayam then off home. ontheway home was a total turn off.

done.

TEMASEK POLY, MY CHOICE!

=)=)=)

but the cut off point. ugh. nvm.

STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY!!!
K DAH I WANT STUDY NOW.

ini betol-betol ini bukan cobaan!!

Withlove,

12:56 PM

SMACK THAT

Thursday, January 18, 2007

SMACK THAT BABY!!

hahaha LISTEN TO THE SONG!
THEN GO TO HARITH'S BLOG!
THEN LISTEN TO THE SONG THERE!

HAHAHAHAHAHHA SIMILAR KAN SIMILAR KAN??

*everybody nods head eagerly*

awwww sweet lah korang agree w me!

k dah diam shab.

so here i am rotting at home. no not really. my brain cells are. i have to do a couple of things plus my homework. i have loads to do. gawd. won't it all end? i can't wait for tomorrow. itu pun lau orang sumer sudi nak gi ah. lau tak, tak payah sua. no point going and then being moody giler babi ok? dun spoil things for me.

prolly going with the grls to Ngee Ann tomorrow but if everyone's sucha bitch, i shall forgo the trip and slack at home and try to finish up my hmwk by friday so that my weekends shall be spent luffing at heera while she struggles to finish hers! hahahahah!

k sorry ku soyal mwah sayang heera.
the new blogger kan mcm soyal. the codes all mcm soyal giler. as in really hard to understand. not user-friendly at all.

and oh. my school's senior should be glad they aren't in our school anymore. the principal previously was WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY better thn the current one. we thought the harsh rule would end but guess what? it just became a tyrannical rule. lyk fcb. we won't know what we miss until it goes away and right now i'm missing the old principal! gaaaaaah~

I CAN'T WAIT FOR MONDAY! MS HAN IS COMING BACK!

WOOOOHOOOOO~

everybody was like "finally sia ms han come back" and i will prolly bug mr soong to give up some of his periods for her so that we can finally learn what we r supposed to learn. coz right now, our POA tcher totally sucks. might as well talk to the whiteboard for all the good it does her. sheeeeeesh!

done. too wordy, tak popular blog aku kaaaaaan. gah.

i hate school. (i sound like chiqa siak)

withlove,

Withlove,

8:40 PM

tell me no lies...

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

i don't get it.

why is it that we choose to believe the lies thn the truth?
we prefer to believe it i mean.

i don't get it at all.

we spread lies and gossips, not caring the pain it might hurt the person.
we only care about the thrill at that point of time.
and you know, the only person who i think have a conscience that hasn't malfunctioned is Saheera.

(note : HASN'T malfunctioned without a yet)

but when the truth comes knocking, we have the most trouble believing in it.
and it sucks.
badly.

i tend to be that. believe lies and not the truth. but when it's apparent that i've been misled, thn i'll apologise.

to Fasha and Iylia, i'm sorry. i just didn't want to see you guys get fucked up. not when you put your trust in someone, only to see it shatter right in front of your eyes. the pain is never easy to bear with but it is something that happens in our life,24/7. i just didn't want you guys to go thru unecessary pain.

, you know i'll always love you. but sometimes things just get so hard, i tend to vent it on you. i'm sorry for being sucha bitch but hntah lah.. i'll just end up making excuses for myself and that is NOT who i want to be. i love you and i'm sorry. for everything. the next few months are going to get tougher for the both of us. i'll just hope we can be strong enough to face it all.

i love baby's picture yang ini. cracks me up every single time.

withlove,

Withlove,

6:49 PM

beeeeeeeeetchy!

Monday, January 15, 2007

saw Kiirah this morning during recess.
she looks so kiut siak~

Met Chiqa this morning before heading to class.
or was it ystd? hntah eh.
she went "i rindu u!!"

aawww~

i feel like a beetch of the highest class when i notice ppl tagging me like hell but i dun reply.
hahhahaha!

so here it is.

//[taggy]//

lina: hahahah dun agree w him abt my wordy post laaah! n yes the cut was urgh!

Red: hahaha merapek. room 39. room 29 ferst lvl arh. hahahahha english best?

Heera: hahahha i miss u too sweetheart! mwah hahahhaha~ and thanks! i get well fastfast ok??

Rad-Z: Hey Zeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~ n yes Heera pilih member ah! hahahahhaha

Deeyan: huh urh becoz hakim happens to be my boyfriend??? hahahahah

Atikah : hahaha TALK TO ME LAH INSTEAD OF GOING I MISS U I MISS U!

Harith : noooooooooo not because of cut i got fever ah...hahaha but thanks for the concern anyway DOCTOR HARITH!

Deeyan : u look hot bcoz i made u look hot. don't deny, we both know it's the truth.

Lizzie: LIZZIE!! HAHAHAHHA!! I MSGED U LAH!! hahahahahaha n i saw ur friend. yang yang wearing the tudung with stripe blacknwhite sleeeeves? yesh her. and ouh SORRRRRYYYYY!

Faiz: hahahahhaha go again for what?! hahahahahah! yes Ma'm i'll takkaire of myself Ma'm and dun worry i'll samapikan salam Ma'm! hahaha. thanks for the compliment and hahahah maybe dah ditakdirkan u jumpe wan slalu? HAHA! of which u rmb wad of ur school days?
YES YES I GOING UR BLOG SOON!! HAHAHAHAHAH~

Atikah: yes darling i know u miss me! hahahahah mcm phm. eh talk to me kays? we make time thn we kuar lagik or wad lah ok? set?

withlove,

Withlove,

6:02 PM

i will come to you..ohh i will come to you..

Sunday, January 14, 2007

k the title is from a song.
listening to it.

after deeeep deeeep thinking and alot of thoughts,
i realise something.
people talk to me if they want something.
msg me in the wee morning asking for favours.
calling me late at night asking for a listening ear and no judgement. nil nada.

i don't begrudge them the listening ear.
but i do the returning of favour.

you see. out of the how-many-years-of-friendship-i-also-tak-tahu, you push me aside just like that when you have someone else. and when you need help which the person who shoved me aside for couldn't give u, you come back to me all sugary sweetness and expect me to just give in every single fcuking time.

no wonder i find lies rolling out of my mouth so fast time and again for you so that i won't have to endure the pain and torture of being on alert so i could make myself scarce before you go "eh go ah i want to talk to her ah".

you have noooooooo idea what it does to my self-esteem. or lack of one.

~

enough depression. the rain is getting to me. i'm falling sick all over again due to the outing of yesterday. i was soooo NOT ready to show my face to public and i had to. because i do NOT want to go for the bloodtest. so i did. dragged myself thru Mendaki. rushed home and changed. went out,met Baby then the grls. n ANOTHER antisocial. gawd.. isn't life ALREADY full of them?

walked around RP. the school is big i grant you. but the open hse was... i have no idea what to say. choked down my medication with yana luffing because she too had the same problem as me about swallowing pills. so headed to the library soon after. day ended there.

the only bright spot in my lfie these past few days, adik got me a thumbdrive. 1gb. as a birthday present.. a late one. but it's ok. she told me she wanted to give me a 128mb. skalik dapat 1 gb.

the three camwhorers

the pond/lake aper bender kt rp.

part nie baby malas nak layan

my leg is LONGER and SLIMMER thn baby's ah! hahahahahahhahaha

Withlove,

1:19 PM

irksome!

Thursday, January 11, 2007

and i realise that ir irks me to no end

that some people can't get their priorities right.

actions speak louder than words.

con't bother saying it,

when we both know your actions prove otherwise.

think about it

and maybe you'll realise

why i'm acting this way.

why i'm saying all this.

Withlove,

6:50 PM

waiting time approx. 2 hrs

so shucks.
wednesday woke up with a searing pain.
all the way thru school i kep shaking my head and then screwing up my face with pain.
sakit giler.
my complaints didn't stop i tell you.

english and mother tongue was the worst. english the pain was ADUHAAAAI~
and mother tongue i got fever. straight after sch i headed off to the clinic w izan.
hobbled all the way from fuchun sec to the poly. took queue number from a bapok (!!) and waited. the...
orang yg kener register tu kan.. merapek.

"what's wrong with you?" -pompan tu.
"urh.. i have no idea but there's a swelling at my rightside *points*" -me
"i see. but what is wrong with you exactly?" -pompan tu.
"i don't know. if i did, i wouldn't need to go to the clinic for a doctor to diagnose it would i?" -me
"oh. ok. here, you go to the second level and room 39." -pompan tu
"ya ok thanks" - me

so waited. i registered at 3.14pm and went into the doctor's room at about 4.45 pm. kesoyalan.
masok jek.. she asked me questions and all. standard.

"do you have any fever or flu or coughs?" -doc
"urh slight fever and that's it." -me

*took the ear thermometer that one then checked temp. a min or so later....*

"my my my you have a high temperature"-doc
"is it? haha ok" -me

*put it away and checked the swelling at the neck.*
*poke poke poke*

"OWW!!!! *jerked away* oh sorry but owwww...." -me

so blahblahblah told me i had to go for a bloodcount ker aper in 3 days time if no change. gaaaaah. so i scared like fcuk.
malam i msg Iylia and then he was like "alamak sama mcm aku siah!........" and because of that i got soooooo scared again. hahaha then he went on to say i have his support should it be anything lah. hahahahaha.

THANK YOU IYLIA.

thn done.

today didn't go to school. history test is on if i'm not wrong in trusting fasha. AND THERE WAS P.E! HAHAHAHA! BESOK PUN ADER P.E BIH I CANNOT DO! HAHAHAHHAH!

best.

withlove,

Withlove,

6:29 PM

ooww~

Tuesday, January 09, 2007

my left face area is getting more n more swollen.
mia is getting worried.
she thinks i have the mumps and the EAR INFECTION.

gawd..like life simply couldn't get worst thn this you know..
and the cut on my lef is HEALING!
YAY!!!!

though i still have trouble walking.

met up with baby just now.
he busyuk lah.

maybe tomorrow i'm going to the doctor and mustaffa's. or doc another time. hai. hntah lah eh. i just wan to be able to sleep on my right side without jerking awake in pain.

i can't even use my handphone earpiece when i call baby!!
so i depend on my left side. and it's getting troublesome.

so maybe i'll let baby be in peace and leave him alone.

done. i'm tired.
i just want to sleep.

i hate you, you know?
you think you're all that.
but whatever.
its your choice.
whether you want to be a jerk or not.

but i guess you can't help it.

you were born that way.

withlove,

Withlove,

9:06 PM

hoorah

Monday, January 08, 2007

k i take back all the words.

i don't hate any of you ok?
masih sayang.
shab saaaaaaaayang....korang sumer!

i just can't talk to some of you yet since it's quite hard without feelings going,
"ROAAAAAAAAR SCCREEEEEEEEW YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUU! ROAAAAAR!!"

or something equally nonsense.

but that's it.

tetap sayang tau!

=)

so ystd i stepped on something and i got a very deep cut which bled continuously while i was bathing. silly old me didn't even noticed until i step on my feet properly and felt the stinging pain.

i screamed i tell you.

so hobbled to the kitchen where mia and abah was n i told them,

"Kaki baby sakit. kaki baby sakit. baby pijak bender. mak tak kemas rumah betol-betol. kaki darah. sakit"
"huh? apesal? - abah
"what i do??" -mia

so i showed them the cut. mia got the evil eye from abah bcoz i said she didnt sweep the floor properly. hahahahaha sorry mia.
so abah say to go see got anything inside the cut tak. i said no psl if i say yes, i scared must dig out. bih abah tell me eat my ubat n go sleep after he plaster-ed and bandaged my feet.

this morning, i woke up to a swollen feeeeet. haaaaaaai. saaaaaakat hati. then i went to school with my slippers on. Mia called and asked what time i wan to head to the cllinic i said after school. so ok lah. i got mumps too. but the beginnings of one. :(

so limped to school and my OH-SOOOOO-SUPPORTIVE friends laughed at me. thanks a freaking bunch eh? bih recess called mia tell her tak jadi go clinic n she say,

"ok bye i go tido."

gaaaaaaah~

sch ends, headed to RC do maths hols hmwk n home. contemplated taking a cab bcoz it was pretty awkward for me to go home in bus but thn the bus came. hah.

AND GUESS WHAT!!

5 MINS AGO I SAW SOMETHING GLITTERY IN THE CUT.
i ran crying to mia. *psssssst! i'm a crybaby trust me*
and she went like,
"CEPAT KLUARKAN!!"

so i dug out bcoz i scared wenever she touched. so it bled n bled n the piece of thingy stuck there. so i squeezed it out slowly. dah nak kluar, stuck lagik. so took nail clippers and cut off the surrounding skin. and i cried n shook. bih last last dpt kluar. i was soooo happy but still crying. hahahahahhah!

bih mia look at it. bih she throw. i think she's going to vaccuum and mop the floor later. the glass panjang giler seh!!!!

k dah i have to end.

bayang says my blog wordy. hai.

Withlove,

6:09 PM

Saturday, January 06, 2007

this is the part where i feel i hate every single one of you.
honestly.

like i said to mia "i know pure crap when i hear it.i got too much practice telling it as it is"

being who you are supposed to be and being who you really are, are two very different things.
and you know what?
i won't bother commenting anymore.

and oh, i admit. i don't fucking understand and that's the reason why i ask and commented on it in my blog. but thanks once again for making it seem like i'm not trying to understand. even though i emphasised on the words i'm trying to compromise.
"can't please everybody and so i shall be selfish and please myself".

the time now is 10.09 pm. i'm tired. very. it was supposed to be our time but as always, interruptions had to happen. i'm honestly very fed-up with it all. but what can i say right?
i don't want to be that selfish bitch that people used to identify me with but what the hell. i know i still am despite trying to change.
i guess it's not enough.
it's never enough.
so i shall not bother.

"i can, i will and i shall" courtesy of Mdm Aishah. meant to encourage BUT i don't want to think any positive thoughts right now.
i still am feeling very bitter.

.

SARINA'S BIRTHDAY PARTY!!

hahahahha so headed to cwp when "beeep beeep 1 msg received - Nash: aku dah sampai boots and shoes"
i PANICKED SIAK and ran around trying to change and got ready in less than a minute. hah. thank goodness i already bathed. if not, mampos lah kau Nash kener tunggu aku 2 jam. hahhah. went out with kakak and screamed at her psl she wanted to go off first without me. she ended up being late thanks to me. hahahahhahahhaahhaha. sorry kak.
reached in about 25 mins. RAN to Nash and he was looking at me weirdly. hah.

"eh kau tunggu braper lamer?" -me.
"urh. *opens hp* 14 minutes" -Nash

at first i felt pelik ah psl he msged me and i reached 25 mins later but hntah ah i let it slide.
so got Sarina's pressie for her and headed down to the beach. Met Rahmat on the way.
*GELEK BANG GELEK* (INSIDE JOKE)

met Filza,Aisyah(Aishah? Aisha?) and Hanim in the bus. Radzee Daniel and Ahmad Daniel and Yani got on the next stop i think. dunno ah was concentrating on bullying Radzee.
so reached and it started raining. i went up to the shelter with Nash when Sarina's dad told us to. the others ran up,leaving sarina n henry. so i ran back down to help them and got DRENCHED. wahahahhahah freaaaaaaking cold i tell you. sarina gave me a towel (THANKS!) and then i covered up (i was wearing white siak) while helping to get the BBQ going. Nash, Zhi Xiang and Me were working our asses off fanning the bbq to get the fire going. due to the rain, we had a very hard time. hahahahha. so ZX blew onto the fire first and then me and Nash started fanning madly. i had fun taking the oil and splashing it madly onto the pit. the fire raised up and it was awesome! hahahahahha didn't take pictures because,

1)my hands were very wet so can't hold hp
2)busy fanning and coooooking
3)hp with Filza

so that's why. ate the HUGE cake withZX n Nash cause everybody had their share and we haven't. so took fast bites and turns to eat. hahahahah the stingray was a hit! AWESOME SIAK! really. no regrets eating. had one before at Kakak and her bf's pit last time so i knew what to expect,and this time, it was even better! hahahahahhaha. there was mussells,chickenwings,fishballs,hotdogs,stingrays,corn,otah-otah and the huge cake.there were prawns too if im not mistaken but we didn't eat at our pit, it was at her family's pit.hahahahha there was 2 pits bytheway. at abt 7 got a msg frm mia and abah each.

after i called, i realised "EH MAK BAPAK AKU KAT SINI SAK!!!!!" to filza.
so i ran to them and they bribed me to follow them to the one place i have been asking them to go to. SHENG SHIONG. hahahahhahahah. went in my wet clothes and shopped. i took advantage of the situation,really. total was about $82. SMALL AMOUNT i promise you.
usually, if there was Kakak and Adik, the cost could run up to about $200-$250. and during puasa,to get the raya kuihs ingredients even$500 wouldn't be enough. hahahahahhahahahahaah.

FOOD FOOD FOOOD FOOOOOOOD!!!

Mia was like going "murah jgk eh..."
and abah sent a glare in her direction. he hates going to shend shiong. hahahahahhahahha he will like go bankrupt siak everytime. hahahahaha.

K MIA ABAH BABY BLAJAR PANDAI2 OK JADI MIA ABAH TAK MALU LAGI NGAN BABY AND PROUD OF ME! BIH BIH BIH BILER CIK MO NGAN CIK NORITA TANYER PSL BABY NYER SCORE, FOR ONCE YOU CAN TELL THEM I DID WELL OK? TAK PAYA MALU MALU LAGI OK? I JADI PANDAI!

=)

n oh, i promised Baby too that i will study hard hard hard hard giler babi.

the time now is 10.36pm.

still no news.

makes me wonder sometimes.

withlove,

Withlove,

10:36 PM

friends? or foe...

Friday, January 05, 2007

long post, don't read if you're lazy.
you've been warned.

you know, when you are in a clique(elite or not), and people ask you who are your friends, do NOT spout off the clique members names. STOP AND THINK. because i find that FRIENDS are supposed to be supportive regardless of our decisions, advice us when we are doing something stupid like taking drugs or what. not go around being so fucking jealous of what we have that you don't until your better judgement clouds your mind.

because it's freaking unfair.

we don't expect you not to do what you want coz we're not doing it. we don't expect you to like the same people we do, hang out with the same people. we don't even ask you to love the same person. and get this right, we love u for hu u r. not because we pity you or whatnots, we love you. for who you are. we don't judge u by ur appearance, by what piece of cloth u use or DUN use. we make jokes yes and sum of them tend to hurt but that's bcoz we want you to understand and realise, SOME things are plain INPROPER.

you go around wearing revealing clothes and expect us to keep mum?
you go around feeling sooooo down in the dumps and ignore you?
you go around being an asshole and expect us not to say sumting and take your everywords at face value AND swallow it down?

please bear in mind that we love you and we do things. we don't go around "i should do this to hurt her. she's my friend n i confide in her but sumtimes i dun like her bcoz she has wad i dun"

screw u if u think that way.

.

i realised the reason why the number of msgs i send is more thn what i received bcoz some people are plain jerks. they don't answer even one msg. they can't tell you when there's free time that THEY CAN'T msg for the rest of happily ever after. not even once. you know, at times like this i delete the said person's number and hope the person go n die. really. i get pissed off.
very.

.

i truly hate it if i go somewhere, and A goes proclaiming that A likes B somehow. and then i go to C and find that A is saying sweet-nothings to C this time. like screw u ok? because its time like this that i DON'T wonder how people feel cheated by love. "you give love a bad name". that's a song,in case you didn't know, which fits u PERFECTLY.
coz honestly, i dun see the point in having multiple partners (not bed partners. u can have multiple bed partners if u wan to. simply cheap ah.)and treating them like the are each sumone special, but in the actual place, those people mean nothing to you. or maybe they do. hell i wouldn't know what goes on in a screwed up mind. as much as i m screwed up, at least i don't go to the extent.

.

fuck you for trying to break us away from each other and citing "it's not fair" to me. it's not fair of you to break us away in the first place. you dun even noe us. granted, you see us 5 days a week and more time thn our own parents sumtimes but that doesn't mean you should make stupid and plain silly assumptions about us. we know who we work together with. and you already said we're maturing, so why not give us the chance to really prove that to you and then make a decision by what you observe? people can change. 2 months is long enough for us to change and possibly be mature, but i guess you have not.
cause you seem to think "divide and conquer so what if people are not happy with me? coz i'm happy and that's what counts right?"

fuck you.
big time.

.

i hate you.and i love you. Saheera has noticed that i have a love-hate relationship with you and it's true. at times i just hate you so so so so much that i feel like killing you,reviving you and killing you all over again. repeat that by a million times? you see, the amount of hate in me that i have FOR u is quite endless. but somehow,i find myself going back to you though i know you would hurt me all over again. i know you would discard me as soon as u found sumone else but hey, call me stupid or dumb, i dun care. no time is ever wasted. not now when "the passport to your future is this year and if you don't succeed, you never will" -quoted off my ma.

sorry i'm feeling bitter. about everything.

.

you know babe. i love you but i dun agree with you on certain things. about why you have to take off what you always take off. i don't see the point in wearing it when you would only take it off. so you say, it's the last year of freedom. but still? by wearing it, it portrays something. don't discard it all just for someone or something. so does that mean, next year it won't happen because the person you did it for doesn't exist or you won't be the same person you are now and do things like now? i don't get it.
and right now, you might be thinking "easy for you to say, you don't have to wear it nor have the same kind of expectations i get from people". but babe, let me tell you. we r not that different sometimes and you know it. yes i have high expections placed onto my shoulders because of my sister who is a genius. i have to wear what you do now and the only reason i got out of it is because i fought long and hard and try to reason. but at times, we too have to compromise. and i guess this is just what I have to do. compromise with you.

.

so went to Singapore Poly's open house.
quite a crowd of us.
rokiah,arriyan,izan,nina,yana,fasha,nasir,baby and i.
reached and met upw ith our tour guide. but hntah ah. he needs lesson on how to conduct a tour. we mostly went our own ways. sheeeeesh. but the open house is ok. just a huge lack in the number of cute and hot guys.
pics next time.
courtesy of izan n me.

headed to Al-Ameen for our very late lunch and with much rushing from a huge baby who was soooo hungry. kesian dier. =)
so headed off.planned to go CWP but ended up whoring.with a camera. at a park nearby cwp. ok ah. baby was tired by then... thn headed off to 7eleven and home. baby dropped off with me cause he was supposed to play soccer with his friends near my block. i waited with him while waiting for his 42 minutes late friends. so went up and bathed and all and here i am.

.

please note, i talked about different people in different paragraphs and maybe 2 people in one paragraphs even. hntah, i lost count of the number of people i talked about. haha. maybe baby would understand what i said coz i tell him practically everything but hell, maybe he wont undertsand me. he usually doesn't. his excuse? i speak too fast. oh well.

[taggy]
atikah - hahahahah sureeee but its stakat teman gi make ur ezlink jek! hahahahaha.

dina - yep i tried to planned it but in the end u weren't really that available so i pretty much gave that idea up. anyway, end of this year, sentosa would be there. so maybe this year? heh.

atikah - hahahaha sweet? i find that my cheeks seems to pop out of my face.

wan -what hurts? n yes i've linked you. replied at ur tagboard.apa dah tak tahu url sendirik!

lina - hahahhaa finally u tagged!! hahahahaha thanks but hntah eh, i dun think so! ahahah

deeyan - hello belo. updated. n no u were not an inspiration AT ALL. hahahahahahahaha and this entry is long. so i prolly wont update until quite sometime. =)

withlove,

Withlove,

11:26 PM

promise*

Monday, January 01, 2007

don't make promises you can't keep.
it's those trivial ones that will somehow show whether you can keep the bigger ones.
like staying true and true.

a broken promise is... a broken promise.
no matter which way you look at it.
you can't run from it, and you can't live with it.
but that's life for you.

i might be sleeeeeepy when i asked you to make that promise.
i might be sick with worry or whatnots.
but still,
a promise is a promise.
and whether you're man enough to stick to your words.

i don't take things lying down.
just because it is officially a new year,
doesn't mean i will change that part about me.
i will NOT take things lying down.

if you've noticed,
i don't make promises i can't keep.
i don't make many promises even!
unless it's those i'm sure i will keep.

don't get me wrong,
i'm not trying to make it seem like it's such a big thing.
hell, it might even be nothing.
i just want to clear things now..
before any of it festers and spoil beautiful things we have between us.

and oh, a very happy new year to u.

a cheetah won't change its spots.

withlove,

Withlove,

10:43 PM

Happy new Year!

First day of a New Year~

wanted to do the countdown with Baby over the phone but unfortunately, I FELL ASLEEP!

ok so the past year have beeeen... tough.

one word is enouggh to sum it all up ; tough.

daily i have to pretend to like somebody when i don't. daily i have to tell lies because i know the truth would hurt. daily i feel down in the dumps because i can't seem to find a reason why to NOT be down.and at the end of this year, i had to faced a terrible truth about myself!
hahahha..

despite thinking

"shit i dun wan to go to sch anymore i hate it i hate it hate it giler babi!"

in the end, i would still push myself off the bed and head out to school.
thanks to Baby and my dearest LTG, i made it through it all. they ensured i would have a better day the next day despite the shits i had. they ensured i kept smiling and laughing and making a racket every single time!!

=)

i love korang lah. and Saheera, i will smother u with kisses until u die ok?? blardy belo queen.

so a new has started.
anticipation is high in the air about the school reopening. mingled with dread of course!
but this year, my batch has more to be fearful of.
sitting for O Levels this year.shit.
k dah dun talk about it.

done!

and i'm happy today.
i got back my internet!

wireless is soooooooo NOT reliable when u need it.

withloveandsweetkisses,

Withlove,

9:36 PM

selamat hari raya haji!

Selamat Hari Raya Haji!

so morning was being shocked out of bed by a loud bang.
apparently someone kicked my door to wake me.
kesoyalan.

so bathed and all. siap-ed. decided to wear the maroon kebaya nyonya. the whole family wore maroon. headed to the mosque with abah to get the daging korban for Yayi. fetched it and brought it back home. finished the "final touches" of siaping and headed to Yayi's. we brought soooooooo many bags of food seh!! hahahahhahaha best!

camwhored there with the family and i was sooo bored so i decided to be a nuisance and took photos of Yayi and Cik Waseh while they were eating.
yayi went "orang tnagh makan lah..hahaha.. ambek ah biler tngah duduk betol2..."

and i went "yer.... mentel jgk eh yayi.."

and he laughed so loud. wahhaha.

k so headed to Nenek's afterwards. only Amz's was there with Cik dah's. met Cik su's in the lift and we kecoh2 went up mcm we owned the place gituk. hahahah ELYA WAS SLEEPING BUT WHEN MY SISTER TRIPPED, SHE OPENED HER EYES AND LAUGHED!!

ADER KER PATUT????!!!!

hahahahahah kiut ah. bih we stayed all the way till abt 5 thn headed home. and i forgot what i did.

k dah bye.