genuine

sorry

2007-07-12T23:14:00.000-07:00

haven't been updating, haven't been online.rest assured, will be back frm the dead as soon as possible.chiqa, i miss u like loads n im sorry kalau i seem very distant n mcm neglecting u.lina, APA DAH. LAMER SNGT TAK BUAL! I MISS U LIKE F LAAAAAAAAAAA.Zan, i miss u like crazy...every minute of everyday... haha. forgive me for not sparing u the time.Heera, grl, u'd always be the reason y i fight w

Dealova - Dewa

2007-06-19T22:02:00.000-07:00

And this is to you.Aku ingin menjadi mimpi indah dalam tidurmu Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg mungkin bisa kau rindu karena langkah merapuh tanpa dirimu oh karena hati tlah letih Aku ingin menjadi sesuatu yg selalu bisa kau sentuh Aku ingin kau tahu bahwa ku selalu memujamu Tanpamu sepinya waktu merantai hati Oh bayangmu seakan-akan reff: Kau seperti nyanyian dalam hatiku Yang memanggil rinduku

moved

2007-06-14T19:58:00.000-07:00

my last entry before i shut this blog for good.i've moved to my newl url.reasons known only to me.~i hung up the phone. i continued writing on the paper. i continued until my parens woke up for Subuh. i tore the paper up. nothing seemed right somehow. the words didnt fit, the sound of the words were like a chainsaw.. even the taste was like puke. i wrote n wrote n cried n cried. i cried until i

i'm in love

2007-06-11T22:46:00.000-07:00

i'm in love =)hearts are flying right in front of my eyesi can't believe this is happening all over againnever could i imagine that i could feel this way again.thank you for making this happen.i love my bantal laaa!u see, my bantal koyak-ed the other day. so i wait for my mia to jahit. bih longlonglong time. so now dah! wheeee. i think im falling in love all over again with my bantal!(despite

it sucks

2007-06-08T22:22:00.000-07:00

that when these crap happens,we feel the guiltwe take the blamewe sufferour conscience kill usour conscience literally kill us.assuage with guilt, we drown in the silence of our own mistakes and fears, practically wallowing in whatever self-pity we can milk from ourselves. because there's only ourselves for support and compassion. and only ourselves who knows the true enorminity and the pain we

whatever tomorrow brings

2007-06-08T21:22:00.000-07:00

so i'm trying to find alot alot alot of songs.summer love by Justin Timberlakeand...never again ke aper by Kelly Clarkson...umbrella by Rihanna...=)and to all.i'm moving to my new blog as soooooon as i can think of a new url. the current new one im having is not... as nice as i would like it to be..i can't wait for the next 4 days to fly pass. i want the 5th day to come as soon as possible.but at

look what you've done

2007-06-01T20:05:00.000-07:00

so haha. whats the point in pretending things are normal?so things have ended between me and Hakim.=)all my fault, i admit.i was too..haha... [insert horrible adjectives here]...soooooo haha.no regrets being with him lah.the sweetest alive and definitely the best.i won't lie and say i don't still love him but haha. he won't like it.hennyways,thanks to my friends for trying to bring me up:LTG,

dig this

2007-05-31T23:20:00.000-07:00

i was chatting with Senthil laaaa.so the topic was about Hindi movies.I Need Some Blood In My Coke Stream says:The plots are usually ridiculousNai. whatever tomorrow brings says:but very sweet n romantic and brings ur hopes up very high that maybe love does exists but only to realise its all pure crap n tt love doesnt exist and then u get disappointed.I Need Some Blood In My Coke Stream says:I

=)

2007-05-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

i saw this phrase at a random blog."so baby i will wait for u. cause there's nothing else i can do"i saw and i laughed. oh the bittersweet memories. bitterbittersweet...anyway. i want to have a baby and a husband =)like.. hntah. very exciting. especially when it's the first child! mcm woaaaaaah gituk. and guess what, i can not imagine the idea of me being pregnant or going thru pregnancy even..

blast-y

2007-05-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

today was great lah basically.woke up (pagi2 jek aku dah nangis mcm pukimak kan), bathed and all and sent Yayi's food. then headed to CWP bcoz mom wanted to get me this sweater at DANO which is nice. but, too big.so headed to WestCoast. shopped at AKIRA warehouse sale. like things are super cheap lah (80% discount). shopped for PERABOT RUMAH AH RITH!!! (rice cooker, iron, kettle, lightbulbs,mp3

2007-05-29T13:57:00.000-07:00

Doaku buat kekal selamanya - Azrina[music]ohhh hmmmm...[1]berbagai persoalanbermain di fikiranjika dibiarkanjiwaku tertekan[2]hati ini bertanyamencari jawapannyatetapi aku bimbang disalah ertikan[3]lalu aku mengandaikannya sendiribersoal jawabberteka-tekibukan cinta jika ada yang memaksabukanlah cintajika terpaksa[4]belum bertemu jawapan sebenarsiapa aku di hatimasih samar-samardimanakah nanti

tell me

2007-05-28T21:30:00.000-07:00

=)Malay paper was... malay-ish. ok crap. headed to McD with Liy and Nina. ate, thn i headed home. blardy hell they walk selo. reached home, msg kjap, call once then fell asleep.i woke up to a phone call. so mumbled sumting and hung up.. soooooo kan i fell back asleep. 10 mins later, another fone call woke me up. kiwek, by then i was pissed n couldnt sleep so contd talking on the fone.BYTHEWAY, I

belum bertemu

2007-05-26T18:33:00.000-07:00

looking at notebooks. then realised i lost my purple one.so searched high and low. found, read the entries. tears of laughter and joy mingled togteher on my cheeks. =)there's some thing i love so much.so today, is the first time i truly felt happy after everything. haha but tadi i pantat gatal maha gatal, i went bloghopping and saw something which brought my morals down. but takper takper. it's

down and under

2007-05-25T19:52:00.000-07:00

Rogue, thanks for the huge and very heavy mug. i had to use both hands just to lift it. hah. it was sweet and nice. thank you.closing down my blog. yes yes prior notice to one and all. expect an irritating tag from me saying "relunk relink!"haha. so have to decide its blogger or blogdrive or livejournal.and i'm sick of this url. it's not...oxymoronic enough. =)andandand. i decide to close this

caught red-handed

2007-05-24T19:33:00.000-07:00

so my parents found out.alah not hard lah to figure it out, i do credit my parents w brains ok..Sha's house again. no no..Sha detention, waited w Liy n Zan for her.Sha out, waited for Heera plak.Sha's hse.beautiful intention of studying.as they say "intentions never last".ended up, MANUSIA BERTUAH YANG MANER KAN GI BUKAK LAGU JIWANG YANG MAHA JIWANG.last2, members emo, satu-satu nak nangis. Satu

stronger thn ystd

2007-05-23T23:49:00.000-07:00

hah. the title is from Britney's song.Rogue asked me just now in school,"are you strong enough to let go?"the answer is simple. i do not have a choice either way.no words would do justiceto the love i havenor the memories i save.what more, the feelings buried deep in the grave..of my heart?and as izan says.memang dia jejaka idamanmu.Namun,belum tentu kamu wanita idamannya..and what more can i say

crash and burn

2007-05-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

the title sounds very familiar but i can't recall where i've heard of seen it before.help anybody?singgah-ed library sekejap so that zan could return her VERY OVERDUED books and so that me n heera could make an attempt on improving our malay by borrowing malay novels.so was searching when i chanced upon this phrase."apabila kau sedia menutup buku derita, akanku buka kitab bahagia"somehow it means

it's a wonder

2007-05-22T05:35:00.000-07:00

it's a wonder how one can move away so fastwhile the other is still stuck somehow or other.and it's frustrating.so yes thanks to one, the news is practically published. so, if the whole world is reading the thing, the whole world knows.so haha.shall i publish it as well?guess what.i shan't. because even if it is done and over with, it's still a part of me.so "i'm here without you..."~much to

2007-05-20T22:40:00.000-07:00

I haven't slept at all in daysIt's been so long since we have talkedAnd I have been here many timesI just don't know what i'm doing wrongChorus:What can I do to make you love meWhat can I do to make you careWhat can I say to make you feel thisWhat can I do to get you thereThere's only so much I can takeAnd i just got to let it goAnd who knows I might feel better yeahIf I don't try and I don't

it's true

2007-05-20T21:27:00.000-07:00

one thing is certain.i've never regretted a single thing all along ever since.. ever since.but now?the only thing i regretted is the fact that...there's so many things left unsaid until...everything is left to fester and burn and congeal into something ugly.and i can't and won't let it happen.because i am something ugly. i realise that. and i won't take you down with me.the temptation is huge but

courage

2007-05-19T20:50:00.000-07:00

i plucked up whatever courage i had after a tiring night, and told abah my MYE results.his answer was simple."u've been studying so hard. what's wrong? you rarely sleep, u always doing ur hmwk lah, coursework lah, practice papers lah...""i tak tahu bah... i buat and all...at home i boleh, but kat exams i takleh. like boleh ah bih tak boleh jugak..""b, aper u bual...?""takder ah bah... i noe ah i

aparently

2007-05-16T22:50:00.000-07:00

izan says that in every entry, i will write either damn, shit or cb.i shall now refrain from doing so since she is saying "SHAB U'RE DEPRESSED".no, u r wrong. i m not depressed.i'm in a depressing SITUATION.yes MYE results is utterly disappointing. the subjs which i thought i would pass, fail miserably. the subjs which i noe i failed, failed terribly.guess what?my malay o levels is in 12 days.out

say it right

2007-05-15T21:43:00.000-07:00

you either get itor you don'tyou eitheror you fall~4 words to choke uponleave me alone please.~there is something that i need, someone who i need.there is someone who i DON'T need and something which i don't either.right now.right now.right this second.i can have no say.because it's as clear as daythat you're pushing me away.~anyway, whenever i salam Liy, we would always seem to be "bukak silat"

what's love..

2007-05-14T22:55:00.000-07:00

sorry, liking the song suddenly.fat joe feat. Ashanti i think.~i will state here what i have done so as to allow as many people as possible be my witness.hah crap. but whatever. i shall officially let go and let him be. no more strings attached. inspite it all, i will still continue giving my all with the condition of me not asking for anything in return.if possible, i would like for it to be

now

2007-05-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

i wonder why everything can turn out so perfect one day, and utter.... i don't know...the next day?everything was better thn fine this morning. no more fighting no more sad stories..so much for optimism this time around.nothing gold can stay, remember shab?i always hope, only to be disappointed.i always knock myself on the head,only to do it again.i'm disappointed, right now,right this

just so you know now

2007-05-12T22:26:00.000-07:00

many things to blog about.wasn't able to due to internet being very very unreliable for once (nie part Harith will laugh)~11 May 2007~woke up to "oh shit im late for school"then the SWEEEEEEEEEET realisation that there wasn't school sunk in. =)so watched the tv and did editings and reviewings for his blog. 5 straight hours. wth. so at 4.30pm went out to meet Eggplant, skali met her at 5.15pm

=)

2007-05-10T22:39:00.000-07:00

MYE IS OVER.i can officially declare myself a sitting duck awaiting execution.my humanities is officially rabak. dah let go dah. my poa just now was TERRIBLE. 20marks gone just like that due to the time constraint. wtf.gone just like that. thanks to my illness lah. didn't go to scool for two days. 6 periods of POA gone just like that, covering topics MYE plak tu. gah gah gah. let's see...what to

way back into love

2007-05-08T17:04:00.000-07:00

from the soundtrack of “Music and Lyrics”I’ve been living with a shadow overheadI’ve been sleeping with a cloud above my bedI’ve been lonely for so longTrapped in the past, I just can’t seem to move onI’ve been hiding all my hopes and dreams awayJust in case I ever need em again somedayI’ve been setting aside timeTo clear a little space in the corners of my mindAll I want to do is find a way back

so haha

2007-05-08T15:52:00.000-07:00

i shall blog randomly to stop bugging wan.maths paper has 9 pages only.guess what?the paper was 2 and a half hours long BUT more thn half of who i know couldn't finish it.and the paper is 2and a half hours. gaaaaaah. i couldn't finish it....... secret roncher is gonna freak.chem paper was a breeze. really. out of..let's say 10 pages, i could only do one. easy giler the paper.... wtf ah..so went

love II

2007-05-06T20:30:00.000-07:00

today was love. woke up at 8, fell back to sleep due to SLEEPING AT 2 AM IN THE MORNING.woke up at 9am thinking that tuition was at 9.30am.panic like f like f like f and end up, tuition at 10. skali i siap-ed then last2, came to tuition at 10.17am. waited for nina until 10.25am siao. then masok. thn did work. had a "truth-telling" session. ok dah then headed to MCD for my science tuition.kena

love

2007-05-05T07:02:00.001-07:00

mornings are fun when you take my Secret Roncher teacher away from his form class and put him with some of his sec 5 students.it came to the point he went "you crazy" to me.we did our work, like really do like fcuk lah. skali there came a point when we really cant concentrate lah. so kan.. we were there, cracking jokes at his expense. he layankan plak tu. last2 he went,"you all cannot concentrate

had better be

2007-05-03T22:30:00.000-07:00

i got home, complaining about the SS paper being tough.guess whats the response i got."you never could make it. what made you think this time you could?"i was shocked to silence. but it's ok. after some time, i get used to it.~here i am, cursing my ass upside down for over-sleeping for an hour while someone out there, is watching SPIDER MAN 3. like fcuk ok? i want to watch it but i can't.tomorrow

stability and security

2007-05-03T16:02:00.000-07:00

stability and security.what i want and what i need.seems like i can't have either.social studies paper was a breeze.. for failure.it was already screwed from the start. need i say more?according to Sha,"history kiter blajar betol2 ah. bih sedih seh, SS f9, hist A1"i love Humans, i really do. the only subjects i pay constant attention to, seriously. if i fall asleep in SS, i would wake up,

i can't wait!

2007-05-01T21:37:00.000-07:00

kakak just came back from a shopping spree.fcuk betol tak ajak aku!she just got her gaji. and guess what? takder paper.hah.my mother got her progress package today. and guess wad? THE ONLY THING SHE SHOVED TO MY FACE IS MY MEDICINE AND MORE MEDICINE!chet.dad gave me 30 bucks. k bedek aku tukar coins. see? i have 30 dollars worth of coins. no wonder i feel like my wallet has been so heavy lately.

Andainya

2007-04-29T18:12:00.000-07:00

it is always..always..ALWAYS to Zan's and Rith's amusement that i like Alleycats.im forever singing their songs while on the phone.so as a favour, one of the two switch on their dad's handphone JUST TO LET ME HEAR ALLEYCATS.=)=)and the grp? zaman my nenek was still a young girl i think? haha.so i remember one convo."eh eh alleycats dah meninggal kan?" - me"huh?? takde lah!!""kau biar benar??" -

i never actually believed

2007-04-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

just hung up the phone.ages since i last talked to Rith.apparently, orang tu upset ah i never go nightstudy smlm. PADEHAL THE PREVIOUS NIGHTSTUDIES he never go bih i tak cakap anything. unfair betol eh kau?i think something is wrong with my ear now.. my left ear. it aches and aches.. haha so no phone for me later tonight.tomorrow is Mendaki MATHS test. haiyah...........i aim for a pass jek this

aaaah!

2007-04-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

hahaha i miss blogging!!okays okays breatheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedone!imissthecyberworld lah hellooooooLina, tell me, how many decades has it been since we last chat??gahness lah u..apparently, the whole school has an outbreak of infections. infections of the throat, lungs,windpipes and urh everything lah.ok blog more when there's time!off to bloghop to my favourite people's blogssssss~korangkorang

fcukshit

2007-04-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

noe what irritates me the most?when i'm in school, my friend's handohone is never far from their hands. never far. the whole day would be them msging nonstop. nonstop.so i didnt come to school today.(confrm lpas nie ppl tag aku ckp they miss me padehal they didnt noe until they read this post. and since i ald type this, they would not bother tagging psl they noe its true. howdy har har har)i

i'm all smiles

2007-04-19T23:54:00.000-07:00

now i'm happy.Fasha lost her "jealousy" chromosomes.i've lost something bigger.but it's ok.got the shock of my life when dearest POA teacher called my handphone. i forgot i gave her my number during Community Day. as the leader of four hyperactive monyets, i was given the task to control and give out the tasks, so my number ah she take. haha.note to self: Remind Rokiah, no recess tomorrow,

Day 2

2007-04-19T19:52:00.000-07:00

this is the second day already that he's ignoring and avoiding me.if the reason is like what it was the last time, i shall officially let go.the reason is not valid, at all. it's just an excuse, a sad and pathetic excuse which shall not and will not be entertained.i will know that you are using it as an excuse and shall thus draw a conclusion that you desperately want to be away from me to pursue

hurt

2007-04-18T22:40:00.000-07:00

i am so hurt, it's unbelivable.i view it as a betrayal. a betrayal of my trust.those who knows me well realises that i do NOT trust easily. i might seem to be trusting but i'm not. i don't. i'm very stingy.it was you who i thought i could trsut and bring me back to sanity when i was lost in the sea and during my emotional struggles. i trusted u. we grew closer and closer. and i trusted.somehow,

so much so

2007-04-16T23:20:00.000-07:00

so much for hiatus.i'm soooo upset."shats" happen.homework piling up.stress level definitely mounting.whats more with my emotionally unstable mind right now.my mind is going to snap soon. like very soon.mengucap sayang mengucap.i hate nightmares. i have one now, it's recurring. and it hurts.every single time.wtf. i shall pray it won't hurt and will fade in time.not more can i do anymore.

let's play pretend

2007-04-15T21:30:00.000-07:00

To Shariffa,nobody likes it if we were to be ourselves (emo). nobody likes it if we were sad or down. nobody. but if we are strong, we would be known as bitch.but if we are strong, we are known as neglecting those dear to us.coz when we are strong, we push people away, not wanting them to know we are weak inside.because when we are strong, we prove to them.and again, nobody likes it.so we ask

dreams

2007-04-15T00:23:00.000-07:00

dreams exist to spur us on.dreams exist to give us hope.dreams can NOT end. it must not.and it shall not.with every door that closes, another opens.it's our choice nak look for it or not.fcuk miss d whoever the fcuk u are for bringin Liy down.fcuk u for wanting her life to be a leaving hell.and BLESS U. for proving to the world, what a messedup life u lead, for proving to the world what a shallow

bed of roses

2007-04-12T23:03:00.000-07:00

while typing this, i'm trying to control my feelings.mengucap sayang mengucap.ok dah.life is not going to plan, at all.so everything has ended, right?right.ok done. i'm fighting all impulse in me to run and cry and hide. fight fight fight.someone, it seems like i'm fighting a losing battle.but it's ok. there's still hope while there's still breath in my body. the clock's ticking. i'm counting

Hikmah

2007-04-09T23:00:00.000-07:00

i'm irritated with Hikmah.like really.it wasn't like last season's. at all. take the character Eva for example. IN ALL EPISODES, she is either crying or plotting something evil or even both.like, how screwed up can u get before u can't stand even yourself?maybe she's testing her limits.ah whatever.woke up early this morning. dad refusing to send me to school now. oh well, i'd make do somehow.

happy happy dim sum! eat them while they're hot!

2007-04-07T21:47:00.000-07:00

oh-so-random title.the post is gonna be random, really.so according to mother, Rahmat has become one of my numerous boyfriends.like hello?i only have one n i setie giler babi n i sayang giler babi okays??but whatever. something so simple won't ever get into your head.so kakak spending like alot alot alot today. was wondering why then i realised,"kak, kak baru dapat gaji?""ape kakak! mak pun samer

you make me happy

2007-04-06T20:20:00.000-07:00

i want you to know,you make me happy..i want you to know,you make me happy..i feel blessed to know such people in my life. really.such people who makes me happy,such people who make me scream with laughter instead of frustration.i love you all.today, 6 April 2007, Good Friday, Mia's bdae celebrations.pictures will be up tomorrow.i think-woke up in the morning. went back to sleep. woke up to a

what the hell

2007-04-04T23:02:00.000-07:00

Chiqa : apesal disaster??Harith : apesal nak teraser nie?? aku diss tu sucko per...bukan kau... =)~kakak was on the phone. and she blatantly lied to the person on the phone.the end of the convo was this,kak : ok byeee *sweet voice*after hanging up,kak : chibai sakhypocrital? fcuk, it's in everyone nowadays.i have happyhappyhappy news for myself. =)I DID WELL FOR MY MATHS TEST!!!!! FOR ONCE IN MY

non-stop luffter!

2007-04-01T13:41:00.000-07:00

i know my cure for the month's depression!talk on the phone with a particular sucko.=)nonstop hits sak kekek!!lesson learnt : if you someone want to gossip about your own mother, do not do it where she can hear!!!!!and and and.do not try to educate your younger sister on viruses. she won't layan.=)=)inside stuff but still it was hilarious at that point of time. i laughed till i cried.then we

too much

2007-03-30T22:15:00.000-07:00

how do you know when everything has been too much?when you start seeing dots in your line of vision and faint the moment you reach home.and when you wake up, the first thing you realise is your mother about to pour a tub of water on you.that is when you realise everything is too much.silly me, i was merely fulfilling everyone's wishes of being strong. but then i couldn't. so how much more

haiyah

2007-03-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

17 maki(s) today. increase to 2 as compared to ystd's 15.i hate myself.dah dah dah.~night study today was slightly better.lesser people as compared to Tuesday's.slightly less noisy too.abah n mia sent me to Liy's. ran to school and then sat down. waited around for Azan near the Library there in the near-darkness. Azan-ed, we solat-ed in school.=)Liy, Me, Farhan, Iylia, Azmi, Aizat, Dan, Yani and

eruption

2007-03-28T21:14:00.000-07:00

after several days of acquiescing WITHOUT a single murmur of complain. i couldn't take it.i sat there, worrying my head over my upcoming tests, my hectic schedule, my results, my parents and how i seem to be pathetic at every single thing i do, my mom went"baby i'm worried lah!!" -miain this accusing tone of voice, like trying to imply i'm idling my time away and not giving a single fcuk abt my

tuitions

2007-03-28T19:59:00.000-07:00

Monday night tuition with Adik if she hasn't gone back to hostel yet.Tuesdays and Thursdays night-study sessions in school until 9.30pm.Wednesday Combined Science at BMC tuition until 9pm.Saturday morning Mendaki until 12.15pm.Sunday morning Maths BMC until 12.15pm also.see how tired i will be?4 days a week my studying will end at 9-9.30 NIGHT.today English was a-ok. as in, the teacher was abit

new blogskin

2007-03-27T23:25:00.000-07:00

trying to think up an idea for a new blogskin.hopefully dilbara will be able to help me this time.kalau she helps, confirm jambu.dier kan A'AN JAMBU.(prasan)so haven't been updating. ystd had school, english class then HipHop dance.school was normal. English was chaotic. 2 teachers n 3 classes? hahahaha. 4/4, 5/2 and 5/1.had HipHop. was moody giler babi and i nearly went bonkers on Rogue. kesian

Rules

2007-03-26T00:37:00.000-07:00

been tagged by Lina dearest.Each person who gets tagged needs to write a blog post of their own 6 idiosyncrasies as well as clearly state this rule. After you state your 6 weirdness, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names/blog address at the bottom of your blog. Don’t forget to leave a comment that says "you’re tagged" in their tagboards and tell them to read your blog for

a sad goodbye maybe?

2007-03-23T19:26:00.000-07:00

this title of my post is similar to an e-mail i sent. to someone very dear to me, no less.haha.it's sad because i'm prolly saying goodbye to the person.sad tau shaaaaaab.dah enough mentioning it, else aku cry like baby like the rain.=)ok exaggeration but you get my point, i sad.mother tongue was chaotic. wasn't in the room when it happened but entered just as my malay teacher reached her boiling

taking back what i say

2007-03-20T20:39:00.000-07:00

i feel like taking back every single thing i said before.i criticise for a reason, i insult for a reason, backlash is said with a reason and and and. i practically do everything with a reason.what, you think it's fun? being evil and everything bad?you think I LIKE being "the bitch"??for the record, i don't. i might give a flippant attitude but inside i'm squirming with SHAME.shame that i have to

sweetness

2007-03-19T22:40:00.000-07:00

i have sweet friends.<3i have my sweetheart.<33all i need now is a sweet family to go with.enough depression.i should really stop, else i'd be in the straits times being labelled as "EMO KIDS".=)just now english was fun,fun,fun. new rule this time for english words :MUST TYPE IN UR NAME SO THAT EVERYBODY HAS TAKEN A TURN.gahness. i went up straight, DESPITE, nt having done so, ever.and guess what

sweet sweeet sweeet

2007-03-19T19:26:00.000-07:00

HAAPY BIRTHDAY SHARIFFA!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUUUU!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUUUUU, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU!!claim ur bdae kiss frm me kays?=)=)i have very sweet friends.really.never would i thought of them that way, but after today, yes they are very sweet.=)thank you korang for helping me and putting up with me today.love you laaaa~so today was one of the worst days in my short short short life.=(

IKAN IKAN IKAN

2007-03-18T16:59:00.000-07:00

luper. smlm right, went out with my fam.we headed to this fish fish place.so i was in this white dress,blck pants and white heels.so kan so kan.i was running lah.nak kejar my extra hyper sister.then this lady came up to me *while i took pics*and said"miss, u quite steady ah? run here run there in heels? i want to walk in heels also cannot. then u can run. wah the floor slippery somemore."i

WAH WAH WAH

2007-03-18T15:07:00.000-07:00

ok was multiplying. hahaha crap.so anway, went to Fifi's multiply to check out her pics.skalik saw this caption that practically flew off the screen to me.SIS'S ENGAGEMENT!!!!!!!!her kakak tunang sia.she pretty pretty pretty giler...=)it's in the fam. the abang also hawt hawt hawt giler. fifi pun jambu giler. hahahahaha. its in the fam. good genes.so ANYWAY.i find kaaaan. the tunang, the nikah

Sweet Escape

2007-03-18T13:16:00.000-07:00

i found a new meaning for the song "sweet escape" by Gwen Stefani=)hahahaha. ok dah i think i need to shower now.OK DAH MANDI EH BUT I SWEAT SIA.hahahahhahaha.perspire i mean.gah.I HAVE MATHS AND F&N AND THE CURRENT ACCOUNT AND BALANCE SHEET LEFT TO DO.can i kill myself?nanti letak minyak gamat kat forehead, bih minum minyak kapak.don't try this at home.it's an experiment for mysef to see whether

holidaysss

2007-03-17T13:37:00.000-07:00

it's already a saturday.two more days till school reopens.have yet to do my maths. and f&n.ohwhat joy.so anyway, this morning woke up to the shrill sound of my hp, a call."shab shab niari ader mendaki!!" - nina"siak. kau serious per?' - me"tu psl ah aku ingat takder psl that tym ckgu ckp ader mrch hols" - nina"tu psl. siak ah camner kau tahu ah?" -me"ckgu kol umah aku ah..."- nina"ah jap jap. kau

oh where oh where?

2007-03-16T18:46:00.000-07:00

everywhere i turn, in every single direction, i'm being bombarded with questions.the same questions, all over again."where is the strong shab i noe?""where is the strong shab i like?""where is the strong shab??"let me answer this once and for all.shab has never been strong. shab has never been great. shab has never been what everybody thinks she is. shab is shab. and it's high time you all

daunting journey

2007-03-15T22:00:00.000-07:00

feeling it now.and i realised. Az is the ONLY person who dares to voice out to me.the fact that i've changed.so so much. i've become the "no-nonsense" person and no more "gila 24/7" like i was before.and what he told me, made me feel oh-so-terrible.and i know, i've changed towards Baby too. maaf yang..maybe i shall just face up to the truth.maybe i'm depressed.maybe i'm weak.maybe i'm not as

homework madness

2007-03-15T20:15:00.000-07:00

woke up early at 9 to wakey B. he working.hahahaha. but i think i fell back to sleep.=)=)nina woke me up next. so mandi-ed allllll.skalik got "sudden urge" to talk on phoen.ok talk talk talk, mood went down during the call because of something ah.bih i quickly hung up, pack my stuff and ran out.reached, teman-ed ninot buy stuff then sat down.took out maths wrksht for yana.took out 2 pau goreng

laughter's the best medicine

2007-03-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

i'm sick of feeling like shit.so now i shall luff myself to oblivion.get ready.~walking to school with Nina and Sha. just as we passed the busstop, i looked down to take off my handphone earphones.look down........saw..... FUGLY ULAT. gah gah gah gah gah. i freaked out."kiwek! kiwek! kiwek! kiwek!!!!" *frantically shaking my shirt to detach the worm."eh shab apesal??" - sha"kiwek kiwek kiwek!!!"

10th

2007-03-13T22:12:00.000-07:00

Today the 13th of March.note the date.=)=)10th Anni with b=)=)withlove.hahahahahahahha.he sent me to school this morning. and according to Fasha "sanggop sak stakat hantar bih patah balek..kalau aku, tak kuaser sak"hahahahahhahaha.sha, kau maner tahu. dier kan terlampau baik pat aku. hahahahahahahahah.and sha, no matter how amny times i aggravate u. i won't bother apologising next tym. COZ IM

and it's unfair

2007-03-12T23:58:00.000-07:00

the way that it happens.i never wanted it to happen.at all.but it did.and i can't do no more thn to just go with the flow,hoping, for some sweet release.but hell. i can't.everything i see. everytime i touch. every word i speak.the pain is inside.so deep and so..thorough.. it's in my every being, my very soul.now i'm simply going to lie back.and let everything wash over me.because i don't see the

first things first

2007-03-12T21:13:00.000-07:00

initially, i wanted oh-so-much to blog about this weird dream i had. i woke up drenched in sweat.several things came to mind;1) the dream must have woken me2) the sweat laa.the actual reason? my home phone rang. and i know the only person who answers is me.and there i was,struggling in a sleep that seems drugged. my dad picked up the phone. when i heard his voice, tros i panicked. i ran. only to

Rogue's Dance Competition

2007-03-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

so we went.nina,zan,sha,yana,faiz(yana's adik),nash.and izie b4 he went to werk.pandai2 korang kire.so was late due to me. but was on time to watch rogue dance. nina and i got the chance to go into the area specially for the dancers. salam-ed her Rokiah's family then i video-ed their performance. nice and all but totally lacking energy. Rogue's usual vibrancy wasn't there.so watched, met up with

illegal

2007-03-10T08:11:00.001-08:00

guess what.i am 38kg.i went to eat tadi.weigh myself again after eating.skali i became 35kg.AFTER EATING.gah.my poor pooor mom tot i was anorexic and ready to blow her top off. hahaha.but i think im depressed?but guess wad.MY BODY SHAPE STILL THERE!!KIREKAN AKU MASEH GEMOK TAU!!CASE WEIGHT JEK TURON.anyway,was listening to the song Illegal by Shakira.realised Iylia noes the song!!amazing

Mally

2007-03-09T18:37:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY~my dearest Lina, the one who's always there to go hyper when we bitch, the one who window-shops w me thru the net and everything lah.hahahahahaa.sayang Lina.happy birthday to you,may all your wishes come true.and hopefully, this year your bdae won't be jinxed.HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOUHAPPY BIRTHDAY TO AMALINA!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO

2.4 km run

2007-03-08T20:04:00.000-08:00

school was pure crap.changed and met up in class. had to be in there by 2.45pm.HOWEVER, everybody was there BUT NOT our form tcher.he came when it was 3. how pathetic. and he's always the one who tells us the importance of being punctual.=)FINALLY boarded the bus at 4.15pm. LAMER KAAAAAAN?!but but but. before that, fasha n i was singing.....RASA SAYANG HEY!!, DIMANA DIA ANAK KAMBING SAYA,

apa saaak

2007-03-07T21:35:00.000-08:00

apa sak zaaaaaaaan. hahahaha she went and blog about me telling sumting abt the guy she likes.ahahahhaa but really, should have seen her face. mcm siak jek, mintak kener kekek sampai tercekik sampai muntah darah sampai mampos!ok dah bedek.sooooooooo. HAHA. im ok with my result so far. psl it all sucks and i dun bother. im going to do better for my nxt tests though. confirm all marked improvement,

Nooo

2007-03-05T21:45:00.000-08:00

tell me, in as many languages as you know, the word for no..because i am desperately in need of it now.no to anything and everything.fcuk ok fcuk.screwed things up once was enough, and there i go, screwing it up ALL FCUKING OVER AGAIN.this is one of the times,i WANT work.so i can fully immerse myself in it and won't think.so for now, i am shutting down my mind.i rather be oglivious and ignorant

~total oblivion~

2007-03-04T22:08:00.000-08:00

and it is total oblivion no more.was jolted AWAKE in the car by dearest hump on the road.not only that, the realisation that MY F&N INITIAL RESEARCH DEADLINE WAS 2 DAYS AGO!!!!like fuck ok.i forgot.i didn't go to the after school consultation because i was S-I-C-K. and now i forgot.ok dah bye aku rushing.guess what?HEALTH CHECKUP TOMORROW, BRING P.E. SHIRT [only students of 4e4 mind u, we r the

~done~

2007-03-04T16:05:00.000-08:00

and chak!i've done my blogskin.k bedek i mainly edited.and it's getting uglier but whatever.my creative juices are GOOONEEEEEEE~not that i have one to speak of. but yeah.Common Tests , i blame you.its raining it's pouring kakak is ikuting me to the libraryyyyyy~i hope.

i belong to mee

2007-03-04T14:08:00.000-08:00

haha just heard the song by jessica simpsons. i think.quite nice lah..but dah lamer2 dngr, naik boring..FCUK AH LAYOUT AKU BORING GILER.no wonder i always blog but dun bother reading afterwards..ok dah bye i shall edit my layout.

jinxed

2007-03-03T23:06:00.000-08:00

i think i'm jinxed. like really.woke up this morning nak gi mendaki, sejuk giler babi.bathed. within 5 mins, the water turned icy cold.k fine nie normal.then wore my giordano sweater to school. halfway, panas terik. like wtf.then then then.go school. NAK GI TOILET ALSO HAD TO BEG SCREAM CAJOLE KOWTOW and all. merapek. HAHA. bagos nxt week tak jumper dier. HAHA. blardy maths tcher carik psl.then

2.4KM RUN

2007-03-02T21:48:00.000-08:00

U NOE U NOE.im having my 2.4 km run.this coming thursday.AKU TAKOT NAK MAMPOS.paham?bagos.tidak? takpe.AKU TAKUT FAIL SIAK!!DAH BERBULAN LAMA NYA KU TIDAK LARI OIIIII~hahahaha. im so malay-ish today.dunno y.and and and, this time, the 2.4 km run would be at sembawang connector ker aper. baaaaabi.aku taaaaaaaakot.really.skalik last person in the whole level eh!?mampat jek...bih like the whole

yin and yang

2007-03-02T15:28:00.000-08:00

know what ihate?fighting with those dear to me.gah.guys, please laaa, appreciate the grls abit boleh taaaaak?in a day, ader 24 hours. takkan a minute from that 24 hours also takle spend time with the grls??nak ngn members jek. MACAM GAY. i think gays pun tak macam gitu ok?grls, kite pun samer laaaaa.. nk ngn members jek..hahahahahahah both sexes need the opposite. without grls, no babies. without

wooooooohooooooooo~

2007-03-01T01:35:00.000-08:00

check out the time!!hahahahah im awake at this hour. been typing my English Essay for mendaki since just now. i did 4 copies because the ferst draft was crap and so was the other two. the last one was by far the best because i'm too tired to be critical of even myself.now f&n n poa is calling out to me.oh heck.i shallignore POA. tmrw is definitelyy depreciation and disposal which i suck at. so

exams

2007-02-28T23:17:00.000-08:00

just now was physics. i could rmbr everything except for work done.shit ah. supposed to be suming, but i put sumting else. and i know i flunk my hist. i went TOTALLY out of point. HAHA.many thinks it's due to the lack of sleep, really. but oh well, i have been sleeping very late. what to do..tomorrow is POA and F&N. HAHA i can score on POA if its NOT about DEPRECIATION AND DISPOSAL!!!!gah gah gah

taking back

2007-02-27T20:13:00.000-08:00

fcuk ah, i want to take back my hour ago post.really.i went to her blog and realised, fcuk siak regret siak mcm ginik.and guess wad, I CANT TAKE BACK MY WORDS. n i dun feel like i ought to.but nvm.i shall try to not care.i shall try to be patient.fcuk ok aku nangis lagik ok fuck ok aku benci ah org buat aku nangis fuck ok sumer org fuck ah aku benci ah fuck lah eh g mampos lah korang suker buat

atrociousity

2007-02-27T19:13:00.000-08:00

i've wondered.why does some things hurt and some things doesn't?why does some things hurt more than others?and haha. yeah i found out the answer.because we care. too much until the pain gets pretty much heartbreaking.and there is always a saying, "it is easier to forgive an enemy than a friend"because you see, a friend is not supposed to hurt, backstab, lie,cheat or do shameless things to you."

omg

2007-02-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

MATHS AND SS.HORRIBLE.NOTHING ELSE TO DESCRIBE IT.IT WAS PURE HORRIFYING CRAP THAT I PRODUCED.AND I SCREWED UP MY ENGLISH TOO!!OMGOMGOMG!!soooooooooooo. i was trying reaaaaal hard to like remain upbeat but babi ah.impossible siak.slept late giler babi smlm,yawning my head off now.had SS then lessons thn Maths test. fuk. ii confident in graph n my locus jek siak. haha pathetic i noe. then was afta

BILL AKU NAAAAAIK~

2007-02-25T21:51:00.000-08:00

trust me when i say this.i'm gng to switch off my hp during the day n switch it on at night ONLY.msgs replied at night or none at all if its stupid,ridiculous or i simply cnt be bothered.my bill went up.and i HAVE to keep it down else you will be contacted via the phone,"hello shabrina dah meninggal. kau nak tngok2??" by a fren.fcuk ah....ok dah no more hp. nooooooo more.fcuking common week

oh so random

2007-02-25T17:50:00.000-08:00

ok i was wondering,slalu hujan, i slalu tido and cannot wake up. so now knaper i cannot sleep and tak feel sleepy langsong?and i wondered abt it since 4. or was it 3?and i JUST found out the answer.I ATE A COFFEE CHIFFON CAKE.cannot sleep.duh.so now im stuck, doing SS since dari tadi psl the chpt is soooo long.even though i committed it to memory, notes are a great help. really.Baby is working,

whore

2007-02-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

you are a whore.MY WHORE to be exact.saaaaaaaaaaayang rogue.hahaha.i cnt seem to concentrate.shits are going thru my head.everything must stop, like really.stop giving me shit lah eh.oh bytheway,read my blog. bcoz u can.i cant read urs.HAHA.nvm our perogatives, our choice.im merely the nicer half.and i realise, i have a picture. in which if i were as tall as my boyfriend, we would be symmetrical

SHAKE THAT SOCIAL STUDIES!!

2007-02-25T12:18:00.000-08:00

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee~guess guess guess!!i am nooooooooow.doing my SS revision.i am making notes.HAHAH AKU BANGGA SIAK!n n n.i used to like sucking the siputs out of their shells.but NOW.mia is cleaning ke aper. the siputs i mean.and i realised, they are all ALIVE and trying to get out of there and all of it is going down the sides of the kitchen counter!and im running n rrunning and everything and

mirror-image

2007-02-24T23:19:00.000-08:00

i don't see the point.no really.you can do it, so i can't? you can bitch about others behind their backs, but i can't?but it's ok. i realise that you're sick, in your mind.fcuk u. you conveniently forgot, you were the worst critic. of everyone. but hell, how can you see right? i mean, the only things you see in the mirror is your face. you can't see your heart, or the lack of one.you don't

as low as that

2007-02-23T20:45:00.000-08:00

i won't stoop as low as to cause a fight..i won't stoop as low as to cause trouble for my friends..you should realise, we care about each other in our own way.if that is ur way of showing u care abt us, thn its all backfiring on u. and u know it.you just didn't have the guts to admit it and say sorry.not only that, u didnt have the guts to even declare u made a mistake and amend.you jsut didnt

bubbling

2007-02-22T20:22:00.000-08:00

terserlah kesemuaan bubble bubble korang ehhthanks ah.kalau yer pun nak buey, tolonglah... jgn pergi ke tempat yang kiter sumer boleh tengok korang ok?menyakitkan hati.lepas satu, satu. lepas satu, satu.like stop it ok stop it.it's not like i haven't had anything better to do with my life.during eng, harith was mad at me. kaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan? sbbtu kau tk bual.bih ilah dtg jek kau ok.

the best

2007-02-20T20:39:00.000-08:00

i've always wanted to be the best that i can ever be.the best so that everybody can finally, appreciate me for being who am i.but as always, i'm the second best.in the family, in school, in r'ships in everything.i have always, always been the second best.either i take half of every single thing or not at all, while i watch the other person get every single thing that i ever wanted.either i get to

inner angst

2007-02-19T23:07:00.000-08:00

"b y u always blogging and bloghopping?" "because i have this inner angst in me that i HAVE to vent in terms of verbal venting not physically BUT in this house, noone is given the space to breathe, what more vent anything?? that is why i have to vent it on this pathetic computer in a pathetic blog at the risk of a pathetic teacher suddenly finding my blog and then taking a pathetic phone to call

Nina's pictures

2007-02-19T15:10:00.000-08:00

I LOOK SHORT(b i will kill u if u say i am short)Nina's bdae cake.Azmi and me. (we need tot ake several times for this one!!)pole dancer to bebdae boy n grl (ninot and aizat)bdae grl tk sabar makan!!!!!know how many times she has to pose bcoz this guy refused to sit still??uncountable.before the bouts of ecstasy Yan gave us!DURING DID WE HAVE FUN GUYS??yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

fatso

2007-02-19T15:00:00.000-08:00

i am feeeeeeeeeeeeeling fat.pretty much fat in this fcuk-i-feel-gigantic way!smlm went to aun'ts. those yang tertinggal boat.(inside joke. the rest of the family went to Batam to celebrate there. only 4 families stuck here.)but yg ader was mine, cik su's and amz's.FOOD. alermak steamboating and bbq.chicken wings, 1 and a half pound of RED MEAT, fishballs, sotong balls, prawns, veggies, macaroni,

kwangkwangkwang~

2007-02-18T17:52:00.000-08:00

this morning, received a gelakgelakgelak msg.from ninot."hey cinagal!! happy chinese new year!! blahblahblahblah"i laughed like mad. ader ker patut dier panggil aku cinagal??chet.ok so im at my aunt's at bedok for a reunion BBQ.farnie isn't it. gelakgelakgelak.ok sorry. it's fun when you're with ninot saying the gelak thingy.dah fine my cuzin is being sucha asshole.he wans me to get off.amzhar u